Hello from the other side!
Firstly, if anyone likes comparing birth stories, this one I'm about to share is about as different from my first birth as you could possibly get. If you want to read about Noah's birth, you can find it here.
Before I begin, I know birth stories can be triggering for some people so just a warning that this birth story is of an (unintentional) unmedicated delivery.
Like last time I think the easiest way to share this story is by providing you with a timeline. Unlike last time, it's a very short timeline...Everything happened on Tuesday the 12th of September:
8:10am - I set off on a walk to the doctor's office for my 39 week scan. I knew I was feeling heavy (I should note: I wasn't feeling heaviness in my pelvic floor, I was just feeling like I was carrying quite low) so didn't put too much pressure on myself to necessarily make it all the way to Central but I was going to see how far I'd get.
9:30am - I make it to my appointment and as I lay down to get my scan, I experienced a mild contraction. Nothing crazy, just a few seconds and no pain, just a mild tightening. My OB smiles and says: "see you soon".
10am - Jack and I go for brunch and then head home to pump up the birth ball whilst watching a movie (we rewatched Prometheus in case anyone wants to know).
9:30 to 2pm - I continue to feel mild contractions, just a few seconds each time and nothing to stop life for or really cause any concern.
2:30pm - Jack and I go to our first 1-on-1 Parent Teacher meeting. I wear an adult diaper, just in case...
4:30pm - We get back home and I loose my mucus plug.
5:30pm - Early dinner so I can get to bed early and hopefully ride out early labour in bed. Still no major contractions or anything to cause alarm.
6-7pm - A moment of solo quiet calm. I sat in my room alone and read a book while my dad played with Noah and Jack and my mum talked. A moment of calm in the day where I just sat with myself.
7:23pm - My waters break just as I squat down to give Noah a hug goodnight. Luckily, I still have the diaper on but it's a LOT of fluid so there is spillage. Back into the shower I go and I call my parents for Noah reinforcement. I give the hospital a quick call and they advise I head in within the next 45 min.
Contractions now go from nothing of note to many things of all the note. In the span of about 10 minutes I went from being very chilled to having 40-50s contractions every 3-4 minutes. But now we have a dilemma: to up and leave Noah now, in the middle of a bedtime routine, would be very disruptive to her and would most definitely upset and confuse her. So we make a bold decision. I bring the birth ball into Noah's room and bounce on it while Jack gets into her bed and reads to her. In a weird moment of pure beauty we put Noah to sleep while human #2 is well and truly on his way into the world. It was a moment of calm serenity for my soul and actually helped calm me down and relax me whilst I was, in theory, not at all relaxed or calm.
8:20pm - the final additions to the hospital bag get added, an Uber is called. Laurence, our Uber driver, was an ABSOLUTE star and truly went above and beyond his required service of "driver". I got into the car and he was obviously immediately aware of the situation and started to not so lowkey panic. We explained we didn't need him to break any laws, just calmly get us to the hospital, "we have time" I kept repeating (although in hindsight this is more me trying to convince myself than me trying to convince him). He was a champion and then went on to say it was a huge honour to drive us. When we got to the Adventist he helped me out of the car, carried our bags into the lift, held the lift doors for us, and helped us on our way. Bear in mind, this process sounds fast but I was contracting maybe once every 1-2 min for a good minute so it was a LONG walk from the door to the lift. Laurence, you're an absolute hero and no tip will actually ever do your service any justice.
8:30 - 9:17pm - my mind and body go through a magical experience of a lifetime. I just about made it only the bed and stripped before I lay down. I assumed a sidelying quasi fetal position and I don't think my eyes opened from lying down to Levi arriving. I assumed I'd be given an epidural and I'd float on through time and space and deliver in a state of calm. Although an epidural was administered there was not enough time to actually administer drugs that had any effect. Our OB arrived in the nick of time as my body went into full autopilot mode. I had no control whatsoever of my pushes/my pauses/or my emotions. In the most arrestingly empowering experience of my life my body took over and at 9:17pm I gave one last roar and Levi screamed his way into the world and onto my chest.
In that whirlwind moment, a family of 3 became a family of 4.
Expectation vs Reality
I'll be the first to admit I did not plan on giving birth without pain intervention. After my experience with Noah I was very much on the epidural train. I think a part of me always wondered what an unmedicated delivery would feel like but I also knew I didn't need to experience it in order for my birth to feel valid or acceptable.
Before getting to hospital I did tell Jack I didn't think we were going to get there in time but once we arrived I expected white coat syndrome to kick in and maybe labour would slow down and we'd have time. When they called for the anaesthesiologist that 15 min wait was the longest 15 minutes of my life but I still thought I'd have time. When the epidural went in and the doctor told me it'd take 15 minutes or so for the effects to kick in I thought I'd have time.
Then my OB did a cervix check and said "he's coming now, I need to get dressed" and less than 15 minutes later my body birthed a child. I birthed a child.
I was proud of myself after Noah's birth given what I went through and I didn't think I'd ever be more proud of myself than that. Nothing will ever take away the beauty I can still find in Noah's birth and the journey I went though. This birth was completely different in every possible way and it was still just as empowering. My first birth made me respect my heart, my mind, and my determination. This birth made me respect my body.
After both birth experiences I have a whole new respect for myself. I have a new appreciation for strength and power of mind. Twice I trusted my body. Twice I trusted my mind. Twice I trusted my birth partner. Twice I surrendered to the inevitability of my birth destiny. And twice I have been graced with not at all objectively the most perfect children.
Playback Highlights from 8:30-9:17pm
These are some of the moments I remember most vividly. Jack could probably throw in a handful of better moments but he wasn't the one attempting to remove a child and an organ from his body so his memory is probably a little less hazy.
The scene: Mid-contraction attempting to get onto the delivery bed
Nurse 1: Hi, I'm Leanne, when you get into the bed I need to do a check to see the state of you and your cervix.
Me: I'm in a state where I wish I didn't have one.
The scene: anytime anyone asked me to move or to do anything minor really
Me: Why does everyone ask me to move all the time?
OR
Me: Can I not?
The scene: Levi's halfway out
Me (in a repeat moment of 2020 because it is by far the weirdest sensation): What the hell is happening?
Jack: (nervous laughs)
The scene: Push number 2
Me: I don't think I can do this
Jack: Cait, yes you can, you are already doing it
Me: Ok yes I can
(and I darn well did)
Shoutouts
First and foremost to the best birth partner there ever was, Jack. Once again he was with me all day. Last time it was expected as I was induced so he knew to take the day off. This time he just decided to take the day of my scan off so we could have a date day while Noah was at school. I guess in a way it was a date day, a pretty unique one too! He was my single most important source of strength when my mind initially didn't trust my body. The only time during labour that I panicked was when we arrived in hospital and for about a 5 minute period he had to leave the delivery room to go downstairs for registration. It was a very long 5 minutes...During what turned out to be the final moments of labour the simple use of the line "yes you can, you already are" changed my mental approach from "I have time for the epidural to kick in still" to "let's just freaking do this". The phrase my let body surrender to its own power with confidence and trust. A well and truly fast labour that took the strength of both birth partners to achieve.
Secondly, to Noah. She's too young to appreciate the massive impact she had on this day but one day maybe I'll tell her. They say being around your other child(ren) in labour helps labour progress because of the endorphin release, their calming effect on you, and the pure love you feel when you're around them. I don't at all think it's a coincidence that my waters broke when I was cuddling with her in her room. I don't at all think it's a coincidence my labour intensified and sped up while I was around her - I was able to stay much more calm than expected and I think the painful part of early labour was massively dampened because I was around her. Thank you to my favourite daughter. I love you.
My parents. I told them when early contractions had started and they took the mental load of the evening off of my plate. They picked up Noah from the school bus and then my mum cooked an incredible seafood risotto for dinner. Without me even asking, dinner was on the table very early so I could get some food then get some rest. They helped with post-meal tidying up, Noah play time, and just let me calmly sit in my room alone where I could read and relax. My dad had actually only landed that morning and instead of an "early to bed to kick the jet lag" experience of day 1 they came over as we were leaving so they'd be around for Noah to explain to her where dad and mum were (luckily Noah stayed asleep the entire time we were in hospital and didn't wake up until Jack was already home post-birth!). Once again the unsung heroes.
Laurence, the Uber driver. What a legend.
The Damage
Some of you may ask if Jack managed to fulfill the role I delegate to him. The taking down of all the answers to the questions my women's health physio recommends I ask straight away. The answer: of course he did.
Unlike last time, the damage is fairly minimal which in itself is a bit of a problem but I'll get to that in a bit:
No episiotomy.
First degree tear.
4 stitches.
No complications.
Use of peri-bottle recommended at each bathroom break to keep the wound clean.
Bleeding to last 1-3 weeks.
Not bad at all!
Already at 3 days post-natal I feel much better this time compared to last time. That's the benefit of not being on an epidural for 12 hours, no prolonged second stage labour, and no episiotomy (which does result in muscle damage). The harder part this time is FORCING myself to stay in pyjamas and adhering, as much as possible, to the rule of spending the first week in bed. I need to constantly remind myself of the physiological reality of what my body is experiencing:
Firstly, I have stitches in my vagina. Let's be real. That's reason enough to sit down and chill out.
My uterus is still huge and needs time to contract back down to its original size. The easiest and fastest way to do this is to spend lots of time skin to skin with my newborn (oxytocin release of skin to skin helps mama too! Not just the baby) and just take it easy.
There is a placenta sized wound on the inside of my uterus that needs to heal. That's right folks, we often forget the placenta doesn't just float around inside. It needs to attach somewhere and once it delivers it therefore leaves a wound. The wound is about the size of a dinner plate if you want a size comparison. Sit down mama. Chill out.
My core is trying to reconnect to itself and to my pelvic floor. It's a process I can help with with targeted breath work but also by just relaxing and giving my body time to heal.
The postpartum hormone crash is no joke. It's the single largest and fastest hormone change a body can possibly experience. Slow down, be kind to yourself, do what feels right for you. Now is not the time to be out and about and all around.
So yes, minimal damage in terms of exit wounds but there is still internal damage that needs time to heal. If anyone needs me in the next few days, I'll be in my pyjamas in and around the vicinity of my bed or the sofa or the kitchen.
Signs of Labor?
And finally! Because this is already a loooong post - as the due date nears I guarantee this is the phrase that's most often Googled, bar none. I remember when I was pregnant with Noah I googled everything as a potential sign of labour as I really didn't want to be induced. This time around I had some signs that labour was approaching so I wasn't totally taken off guard when I did start to feel contractions:
Loosening of stool. This is apparently a thing in the 24-48 hours before labour as your body starts to literally clear the way for your baby.
Generally heaviness in the pelvis for 24-48 hours. Walking and moving in general was noticeably more taxing.
"The feeling". This one sounds airy fairy but honestly I just felt like it was coming the day before. I was emotional and I cried at the most random things. Noah was very very clingy (literally koala-ing me) - I swear that kids, like pets, just know.
I'm no expert so don't know if those are actually well and truly "signs of labour" but they were obvious changes I'd noticed in my body in the hours before contractions started so I'm counting them as my signs of labour!
With that - this has already taken me 2 days to write so I'll stop now.
Next post: a week 1 summary of life!
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