calibrateBUMPS 2.0: 1 Week of Levi

Hi from week 1 of the fourth trimester!

Before we get started on the first week of Levi's life, I've remembered a few things from my labour/delivery that I thought I'd share:

• For the first 45-60 min or so after delivering the nurses left Jack, Levi, and I to our own devices. We just snuggled and cuddled and reflected on the wild experience and quick arrival. After 45 min or so a nurse came in to tell me they're working on the admission documents (we didn't really have time to do all of that when I arrived...) and she needed to know how much I weighed....I told her that at my morning appointment I was 67.4kg but that I've lost a bit of weight since then so can't really say anymore. She just smiled and said "I'll put 60kg".

• In the 45-60 min after delivery, due to the incredible amount of adrenaline coursing through my body I could NOT stop shaking. I had 2 blankets thrown on me to keep me warm in attempt to calm me down but the adrenaline rush and crash was so intense I just shook.

• I remember now that on night 1 in hospital while I was all alone and very much not able to sleep because of all the adrenaline I lay there and reflected back on the labour and delivery and remembered thinking that honestly the labour wasn't as painful as I was expecting. I remember feeling like I was being ripped in half with Noah and this time around I honestly expected at some point for someone to tell me that actually I was only x cm dilated and it'd still be a while. The fact that I got to a full 10cm dilated and had started pushing contractions before the epidural went in honestly shocked me. I know pain is relative and everyone experiences it differently but I think this was another benefit of having a long and painful first labour...the second one wasn't as bad as I expected!

With those recollections out of the way, let's start with the week! What a week!

We were discharged at around 10am on Thursday morning, about 36 hours after Levi was born. There's nothing quite like leaving a hospital to finally go home where you know you'll recover faster and better in the comfort of your own surroundings.

The week in general felt very familiar yet also brand new. The great thing with being second time parents is we kind of know what to expect with a newborn and we know how fleeting and short term any "inconvenience" or "rough patch" is. I think we're both generally much more relaxed and appreciative of these early early days. However, it's also brand new in that there's already a small human we're responsible for puttering around the house. We also have to continue to keep that one alive and thriving because, as much as she thinks otherwise, she still needs us to do many of the things at least with her if not for her. So we're definitely still adjusting to a new normal but just adjusting in a way that feels very familiar.

For the first week I think it's easiest to break up the summary by topic so that's what I'm going to do!

Levi

• We're all about the contact sleeps! Which, to be fair, I absolutely love. I find them calming, regulating, relaxing, and healing. I also feel as though newborns (at least my 2) sleep much more soundly and deeply with a contact nap and as anyone with a newborn will tell you - sleep is king. If you're in the midst of struggling with reconciling the concept of a contact nap or wondering why your newborn will only sleep on a body, I find it helps to remind myself that a week ago this little thing was constantly nustled up tight in a dark, warm environment where he didn't have to worry about anything. Now he's in the bright, cold, world and experiencing an absolute onslaught of new things. Light, sounds, smells, temperatures, hunger, breathing, digesting, clothes, diapers...etc. Literally everything is new and probably very scary. With a contact nap at least he can hear my heartbeat which is a sound he knows well and can smell me. We'll cut him some slack.

• He had his first real period of "wakefulness" at about 72 hours old, he was awake for about 30 min and was absolutely mesmerised by the world. Since then he's honestly mostly just been asleep. Life as a newborn is tough.

• He had his first doctor's appointment at 6 days old where we just did a quick check to make sure he was gaining weight (he is!), make sure he doesn't have jaundice (he doesn't!), and just check in generally to see how things were going. We also did a metabolic screening test to screen for the most common metabolic conditions.

• He's a bit of a gassy little thing which means he's a crier - at least we know he's got a good set of lungs! He likes to be burped but almost a little bit too much - whenever he's awake he just wants to be burped. We've adjusted feeding positions and had his latch checked and all is fine. He's just adjusting to having to eat and digest food for the first time. We'll get through it!

Me (Physically)

(We'll get to mental health in a bit)

• The first few days I was obviously sore but I wasn't in pain and I also wasn't as sore as I was with Noah. The soreness was also limited to the obvious location versus my whole body with Noah (long story short - it was a bit of a rough and long labour...). By the time I was discharged I was feeling much more human and mobile but still conscious of my wounds and cautious of not doing too much movement too soon. I very much adhered to the general rule of thumb of 5 days in/on the bed.

• The postnatal cramps and contractions were much more noticeable this time. I don't think I felt them at all with Noah. I've heard that by a third pregnancy some people say the postnatal contractions are more intense than the labour contractions! In fact, I actually needed to take a panadol on Sunday night because the cramps were so intense I wasn't able to move or sleep.

• Stitches seem to be healing well - there's just one that's in an unfortunate location and pulls slightly but it'll come out soon enough! Until then I'm keeping on with the peri-bottle.

• Bleeding is slowing down almost to a stop. With Noah I was done with bleeding by day 10/12 so we'll see how long it lasts this time.

Breastfeeding

• So far so good! I was very realistic with myself at the start of this journey and didn't assume breastfeeding would come easily. Noah's labor was long and complicated and she was born with pneumonia but she was a champion feeder from minute 1. That's just luck. I didn't assume I'd be lucky twice in a row but for now Levi seems to be doing well. He's got a good latch, he's an efficient drinker (like his sister he taps out at minute 5/6), and he eats often enough to grow but not too often to be annoying.

• Having said that - we have had 1 bout of cluster feeding but again, the benefit of parenting round 2 is knowing that the cluster feeding day or two feel like they last years but it's only a very short period of life where you're stuck to a sofa. For about 8 hours he fed, like clockwork, every 55 minutes. It was a long 8 hours but we got through it!

• The day 3 engorgement came and went without much discomfort. I definitely remember feeling full one day but not painfully so.

• Haven't needed nipple cream yet but it's always an arms reach away in case I do!

Noah

Noah and Levi first met at the hospital when he was 18 hours young. In order to minimise potential jealousy I had Levi brought to the nursery so when Noah arrived she could have my full attention and not be presented with a visual of mum in a hospital bed feeding or even holding another child. We thought that would be a smart thing to do to help minimise her potentially feeling replaced.

That's what we thought.

Then Noah came in, hardly looked at me and immediately asked "where's my baby brother?" We explained where he was and she went "but I want to see him and hold him". So the mum and daughter reunion was only about 0.5s and she hardly cared.

We brought her to the nursery and the greatest friendship immediately blossomed. She proudly wheeled him into my room and essentially hasn't left his side since (except to go to school obviously).

She's incredibly attentive. She runs to him if he cries (she even brings him her comfort toy), wraps a blanket around him if he doesn't have one, wipes his face if it needs a wipe, helps with all diaper changes, brings him toys, cuddles him all the time, and she even composed a lullaby for him in hospital.

Obviously she has bouts of jealousy - it's not all rainbows and butterflies. She's emotional and there have been and few instances where I've been feeding him and she's said "but I need mummy too" (which, I've decided, is the easiest way to break a heart). But for the most part the first week went much better than expected. We'll see how she continues to cope when she realises that the baby brother doesn't actually go away and sticks around for good...stay tuned.

Last and definitely not least as I'm sure many of you are wondering - how did Noah take to the name? Day 1 she called him Julian. Day 2 she called him ele-vee. Day 3 it was just "baby brother". By day 4 we were on Levi though. "Baby Jesus" is luckily no more.

Mental Health

I've decided to save the most triggering element for last. If you struggled or are struggling with postnatal depression please speak to a professional and consider skipping this section. I'm going to be honest.

With Noah I don't think I realised how far I'd sunk until I was quite far down. I was jealous of everyone around me. I hated that everyone else's life was unchanged whereas I was stuck at home with a newborn who needed me and only me. It was an immediate loss of identity, of self worth, and nothing could have prepared me for that. I remember thinking "what have I done?"

I eventually got through it but it took tears, it took long chats, it took a lot of work on myself and for myself, and after far too long without it - eventually it took therapy.

This time the story is different because I could reshape and reframe this pregnancy very early on. That means that so far I'm doing much better than I was this stage last time. Having a lot of support at home (Jack gets 5 months paternity leave, we have a helper this time in addition to my parents being around!) helps immensely. Knowing that the newborn stage is so so temporary helps. Knowing how much I'll miss these early days of the purest form of cuddle and snuggle makes me appreciate this moment of pure stillness and oneness with my newborn.

And the biggest reason I'm doing much better is this might very well be the last time there's a newborn in the house. We always said we'd have 2 biological children, I think I'm too selfish to put my body through a third pregnancy. This means there is a huge sense of finality this time around. This is potentially the last time we go through this so I want to hold on and cherish it. I genuinely am not interested in time speeding up (which I was last time). I'm much less anxious to get to the 6 week mark where I can get back into the gym and start proper rehab. The priority in life has honestly shifted. I have the rest of my life to go to x, y, or z or to be able to do x, y or z athletic feat. I'm only 31 so the rest of my life is a long time compared to the few hours a newborn will sleep in my arms. These little things really do grow up all too quickly and no longer need or want to be held all the time so I'm going to hold him for as long as he wants to be held.

With that, that just about summarises week 1 as a family for 4! Stay tuned for more fun as the fourth trimester unfolds.